HUNGRIES its official, genuinely good food can be found in the strip malls on Biscayne Boulevard.
Forget those swanky looking places with their mediocre food offerings. With Chef Cesar Zapata, The Federal Food, Drink & Provisions is stirring up something American and something to comfort the soul.
It’s been a year since the Federal opened and we are dumbfounded that it took us this long to get here. We feel empathy for the XX when they came to Miami for the first time in February.
They really didn’t know. And we really didn’t know either.
Which is why, we too, would formally like to apologize for not stopping by before… really…it was honestly our loss… and now our worthwhile gain!
Entering The Federal is like stepping into Grammy’s rustic kitchen in her cabin in the woods, our closest, modern day version of Thoreau’s cabin in Walden Pond.
Truthfully, the experience is probably incomparable to Walden Pond but it sounds visually appealing, so we are going with it. DEAL.
Unmatched in everything with the exception of one thing, whether it was hearty writing or hearty food, Thoreau’s and OUR souls were satisfied at the end of the day.
Back to the style of the spot, these folks at the Federal have cleverly decorated it with Viking beer steins, pickle jars, shelves of books, wood finishes, and what we aren’t sure is a real or faux antelope head piece. It seems like the interior designer couldn’t make up his mind about the wallpaper, between stripes and colonial sketches.
TIMES have changed…
For starters we can see it on the table top of the bar with their collage of vintage newspaper ads,” learn the profession of vibratory therapeutics”, “they are happy because they eat lard” (Lards comeback right?) ‘’massage exciting and simulating”. Some of these could be found borderline pervy or purely sexist— a woman’s place being in the kitchen (and what a damn good place to be). No offense taken, we actually found it completely amusing. But, this really sold, ““So the harder a wife works, the cuter she looks?”
We love looking back at the naiveté, anything went. Anything goes here too. The Federal offers classic staples and comfort food with a spin.
The menu is just the way we like it… humble and simply sublime…What didn’t look good?
We decided on almost everything on the menu and let’s just say we would go back for anyone of these dishes:
• Wings and Waffles: Cornmeal waffle, buffalo pig wings, maple syrup, Vermont butter
• Federal Steak and Eggs: Hangar steak, sweet potato hash, chorizo, fried eggs
• Wet fries: hand cut fries, smoked pork chunks, BBQ sauce, jack cheese and a ranch dipping sauce.
• Creamy Burrata: Fresh and creamy, braised mission figs, savory brisket crumbles, and California extra virgin olive oil
• Charred Octopus: Faro salad, peanuts, cranberries, Brussels sprouts
• Roasted Beet Salad: Candy striped beers, raw and roasted, baby greens, spiced pecans, and big john’s Cajun cheese
• Crispy Brussels sprouts
• Corn Bread with cheddar cheese!
FYI: Chef Cesar tweaks the menu here and there.
So Hungries, learn from our mistakes and head on over to The Federal Food, Drink & Provisions.
5132 Biscayne Blvd Miami, FL 33137